My bf was diagnosed in October 2013. It started as a small grape sized ball on his right elbow… He is not one to go to the dr so it continued to grow for about 6 months. It finally started to hurt so he agreed to go to the dr. Originally they thought it was a fatty tumor. After a biopsy it was confirmed as as. We were obviously devastated. He got cat scans and Mris and it was thought to have spread to his lungs and a possible bone met on his spine.
Fast forward to his time w dr Rosen at NYU… He was to undergo hi dose ifos. Not your typical hi dose but dr Rosens hi dose… Anyone that deals with this man knows that he is more aggressive than most. (And probably has a better grasp of this specific type of cancer as well) he had my bf go thru 5 cycles of this and threw in 1 round of cysplatin(spelling) and doxarubicin.
He was also skeptical about the bone met bc of the lack of SUV and the fact that it shows ‘healing’… As he explained cancer doesn’t ‘heal’. But to heir on the side of caution he gives my bf something to treat that as well.
Now it’s almost 10 months later and all of the mets on his lungs have disappeared. He handled the ifos magnificently. You can see that the dr was tickled by his response. He would giggle and say how my bf has better blood work while on this chemo than most people have who don’t have cancer. He claims to be going for the cure. From him, those are big words. He is not one to coddle or sugarcoat.
Here comes where I need some advice, now comes the part where we try to move on w our lives. We are both in our mid 30’s and want to have a family. Dr Rosen wants to put him on votrient. From posts I’ve read on here as well as other ‘internet research’ It seems that the drug works for a short period of time then when it no longer is working the disease seems to progress at a faster more aggressive rate. That’s scares me. Also my issue is that you don’t know if it’s actually working until it’s not working… Since my bf was able to handle that amount of chemo shouldn’t we wait to see if his body can combat it? Dr Rosen expects it to return, I’m no fool, I understand this cancer is known for that. But dr Rosen also has a plan for that… If they come back, cut them out. So wouldn’t it be better to wait to use this drug as a back up plan instead of a maintenance?
What would you do? These decisions never seem to get easier. There’s no room for error. I don’t want to sound selfish but I’m no spring chicken and I want kids more than anything. I lost my mother at a young age and yearn for that bond again. I’ve mentioned adoption or even sperm donor, he wants nothing to do w that.
I asked his nurse what she would do. I won’t name her but she is truly my angel. I have a love for her that I can’t describe. She has made this experience bearable. I don’t know how I would have made it through thus far without her. She said to me that if she were his mother she’d want him To do anything to save his life but if she were his wife she’d want to have his child so that g-d forbid anything shed always have a piece of him. Then she got a frog in her throat,started crying and immediately apologized for being unprofessional and walked out of the room. That pretty much summed up a difficult question and made it seem simple. But I can’t help but feel selfish for wanting that. So what do we do?
Side note( what do you suggest as a proper gift as a thank you for being such a big part of this process? And for being my strength and my calm and my voice of reason. I really want her to know how special she really is to us. )