I would really appreciate it if anyone can give me advise or share their thoughts on how to handle a situation. A quick recap- My father was diagnosed with stage 4 Synovial Sarcome in October 2011 he just turned 62 on thanksgiving day. The tumor started on his left thigh near the growing area and has spread to his lymph nodes and lungs.
My father's biggest fear has always been cancer. He refused to go to any doctor for many years because he had a fear of cancer. He saw his mother die from it and two siblings. Him and I have always been aware of our mortality and have had many conversations about it. He always told me that if he was ever diagnosed with cancer that he did not want to get treatment. Well his worse fear became a reality. He has made me his power of attorney because he knows I will respect his wishes and will not allow anyone else to do any different. As with most people that are diagnosed with this it all hapend so fast and thankfully he agreed to chemo and treatment.
He is suffering a great deal. His left leg has had an opening that won't heal since December of 2010. It needs to be cleaned out 4 to 5 times a day and he just started walking on it 2 weeks ago for the first time. The chemo is helping but as you all know it's also taking it's toll. There is always something else that is wrong and there are many emergency room visits. Right now he has broken into hives and is feeling the effects of the chemo. He agreed to the chemo because he believed there was a chance because we constantly tell him there is. We tell him that God is great and is the only one that can decided. And here is where I need some advise.
The doctor just informed my mother that there is no way he can beat this. He said the AVERAGE is two years but it could be 6 months or it could be 5 years. My father does not know this. He is so scared and when there are bad news he shuts down and refuses to make decision and says I have to make the decisions. He has a dr. appt on the 19th of this month, this is the appointment before he starts the next round of chemo. I have thought about having the doctor tell him his prognosis but I don't know if it's the right thing to do. A part of me feels that we should tell him and he should know but I am scared it will completely crush him. I know that he knows he is dying, he tells me he won't get out of this one but I know he has hope. I don't know if it will cruel to tell him but I think he should have the right to choose if he wants to continue the chemo and it needs to be his choice not mine.
Any advise, thoughts, comments or guidance would be greatly appreciate it. I feel so alone, confused and heartbroken.