I was diagnosed with a recurrence of SS after 13 years this past February. I had two rounds of AIM, four weeks of radiation, and then surgery to remove the 12 cm. The pathology shows good margins were achieved. I just had my 42 staples removed and will start PT in about a week to strengthen my back muscles and core to help me stand up straight. My goal is to get off of the pain meds and get back to work by the middle of October.
The strange thing is that I feel scared to get back to my normal life. Has anyone else experienced this? I've been off work for 6 months and can't imagine being able to work 8 hour days as the office manager of a crazy busy middle school. I don't know if I can think quickly and multi task like I'll need to. Plus, I feel like I will have a hard time getting my mind off of cancer and will be looking over my shoulder all the time, waiting for another recurrence.
I should be happy that the treatment and surgery were successful, but instead feel strangely depressed that it's coming to an end.
Am I nuts our what?